This is an article, written by Andrey Medvedev, which we translated at our channel “Beorn And The Shieldmaiden”, and illustrated with a fitting caricature from the past. The description of the illustration follows after the article in question.

Most European armies are simply not combat ready. Some don’t have enough equipment. Some have problems with manning.

There are not many warring armies in Europe. The French, Poles (in Ukraine), British PMCs, Portuguese mercenaries (yes, they are considered very cool in Africa). Well, that’s about it.

To one degree or another, European armies participated in operations in Kosovo, Iraq, and Afghanistan. The Europeans still gained combat experience, the British and the French first of all. The French paratroopers have their own “sixth company” – the story of the heroic battle near the village of Uzbin.

But, in all joint operations, the Europeans were commanded by the Americans. Even if the group was formally headed by an English general. Everything was supervised from Washington. And when creating a European army, the problem of combat control and the question of “who’s in charge here” will come to the fore. How do you imagine that Poles will obey the Germans? Or the French obeying the Poles? Everyone’s got sky-high ambitions there. “Every gopher in the field is an agronomist.”

Therefore, it is more likely to assume that some kind of joint military structures will appear in Europe. For example, Poland implements the format of the Polish-Baltic unified military leadership. And that’s not a fact, considering that Poles see Vilnius as their own. Here, even the common Russophobia will not help to create a unified army. It is impossible to imagine that the Poles would create a single military structure with the Czechs and Slovaks, and the Hungarians with the Croats. The historical case is very complicated everywhere, full of grievances and unrealised ambitions.

The united European armed forces can only be created by someone else, an outside force. The Warsaw Pact, or NATO, is an example of this.

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The caricature demonstrates just what Andrey Medvedev wrote!

It appeared in the 1952 issue № 09 of the Soviet satirical magazine “Krokodil”, drawn by Yuri Ganf. The grumpy American is sitting at a desk with the American flag holding the text “The Command of the European Army”, which makes it absolutely clear who is in charge.

The American is ticking off the “Applications” list, scrutinising the German and the French armies.

The French sheep sternly requests of the USA, while pointing at the Bundeswehr swastika-bearing wolf:

To the question of guarantees

— I will not object against our common service in the European army, as long as you give me a certificate that he became a vegetarian.

The illustration followed the news item, quoted in fine print:

“During the negotiating about the inclusion of the army of Western Germany into the so-called “European army”, the representatives of France demanded guarantees for the security of the Franco-German border.”